Rating summary

Movie		3.5
Video		4.0
Audio		4.5
Extras		0.5
Overall		3.5

Baby Assassins Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman August 3, 2022

Baby Assassins takes a number of ideas that have been part and parcel of other films and throws them together in a kind of crazy quilt assortment that ends up being one part smackdown action and one part goofy comedy. Any number of films have had young female assassins as focal characters, and in fact some have even taken place in Japan and included schoolgirls (in uniforms) taking out assailants, but Baby Assassins is perhaps a bit more on the "slacker" side of things, if that "movement" (does a slacker really ever move?) was ever a "thing" in Japan. The film begins with what initially seems like a job interview (and in fact maybe that's what it's supposed to be, since some elements in this film are never really fully explained) involving an almost androgynous looking young woman named Mahiro (Saori Izawa). It's an awkward interchange between Mahiro and her prospective employer that goes completely gonzo when Mahiro, tired of answering what she perceives to be stupid, meaningless, questions, pulls a gun out of her purse and simply shoots her interviewer dead. It turns out she's in the backroom of a convenience store, and the store's employees have realized what's going on, and then confront her, one of them with a utility knife which Mahiro promptly grabs and then viciously stabs her would be attackers, leaving the store littered with corpses and lots of blood. Into this maelstrom Chisato (Akari Takaishi) suddenly appears, and it is instantly clear these two young women know each other and are evidently already employed as hired hitwomen (hitgirls?). Now, one assumes the store owner was supposed to get killed, since Mahiro is "required" to snap a photo of the corpse, but as to whether his charges were meant to be slaughtered is never sufficiently answered, but considering the fact that Chisato soon enough goes berserk at a cafe where she's supposedly there to help may give credence to the idea that neither Mahiro nor Chisato is completely able to control their "killer instincts", and both in fact seem to suffer from a serious lack of impulse control.

Baby Assassins is another offering from Well Go USA's streaming service Hi Yah!, and it often plays like an extended pilot for a television series (I for one am not going to be surprised to see Baby Assassins 2 or in fact Baby Assassins 200 for that matter). Structurally, the film is kind of odd, as is perhaps evident by the fact that the title credit doesn't appear until over 23 minutes into the film (!), and then almost as a comedic aside in a bowl of wonton that might have been spelled with actual noodle letters had this been an American film with a bowl of vegetable noodle soup instead. But right after that belated announcement of the film's title, the story delves into an extended flashback which supposedly fills in everything that happened before the opening twenty or so minutes. It's a kind of weird approach, frankly, and it may introduce too much of a disjunctive element for some, since it definitely disrupts the narrative flow from an opening act that is filled with a number of gruesome killings and/or injuries and some completely silly "roommate" comedy, since an underlying subtext here is that Mahiro and Chisato have been urged by the Yakuza mentor to share a flat in order to avoid suspicion.

Things get semi-serious for the girls when they bite off more than they can chew with an "assignment", which leads to another Yakuza clan on the hunt for revenge. The fact that these supposed villains are at least as cartoonish as Mahiro and Chisato themselves gives the entire enterprise a kind of Looney Tunes ambience, and in fact there's almost a Chuck Jones approach to the over the top violence, to the point that some may expect Mahiro and Chisato to hit up Acme Assassination Supplies to order an anvil to drop on someone's head. It's this patently bizarre mix of extreme violence and deadpan humor that gives Baby Assassins its peculiar energy, though the underlying subtext here may trouble some, even if it's intentionally subverted by the comedy that the film undeniably offers.

This is a film that depends almost entirely upon tone and performance, and the good news is that writer and director Yugo Sakamoto and the two focal stars have a good, solid take on how to proceed. Because of the kind of "oil and water" aspects of combining such knock down, drag out fighting (and killing) with goofy comedy, my hunch is Baby Assassins is not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but for those who like superbly choreographed fight scenes, the film will provide more than enough adrenaline pumping scenes to suffice. The humor is of course extremely dark, often delivered with almost throwaway nonchalance, which for some will probably make it all the funnier.

Baby Assassins Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Baby Assassins is presented on Blu-ray courtesy of Well Go USA with an AVC encoded 1080p transfer in 2.35:1. The IMDb has no real technical data, and the closing credits roll for the film is almost entirely in Japanese with no subtitles, so I can't definitively state what camera was used, other than that this is a digital capture that I'm assuming was finished with a 2K DI. This is a rather odd looking feature at times, though I'm assuming some of what's on display is intentional tweaking, which looked to me like it might have even included twiddling with gamma and luma levels, since there are a number of scenes with hazy contrast and where blacks are almost greenish. In fact quite a few scenes have a green tint to them, though as can pretty easily be seen in a number of the screenshots I've uploaded to accompany this review, there are other moments where the palette looks at least relatively natural. Detail levels are generally very good to excellent, though typical "action movie" grading choices like deep cobalt blues can diminish fine detail levels.

Baby Assassins Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

For a film made expressly for a streaming audience (at least initially), Baby Assassins sports a rather aggressive Japanese DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track that not only regularly engages the surround channels, it kind of assaults them at times with a battery of percussive sound effects and some floorboard rumbling LFE. That hyperbolic quality is at least somewhat balanced by putatively quieter scenes of the girls at home, though even there skirmishes can erupt. Dialogue is rendered cleanly and clearly throughout. Optional English subtitles are available.

Baby Assassins Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Trailer (HD; 2:10)

Additionally packaging features a slipcover.

Note: As tends to be the case with Well Go USA Blu-ray releases, the disc has been authored to automatically move on to trailers for other Well Go USA releases after the trailer for this film plays. Those trailers for other Well Go USA releases also play automatically at disc boot up.

Baby Assassins Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

With an understanding that I have an unabashedly jaded and un-PC sense of humor, I actually got an unexpected kick (no martial arts pun intended) out of Baby Assassins. The deadpan performance of Izawa in particular seems to capture the ultra-dark comedic aspect of the film, though Takaishi has her moments as well, as do several of the supporting cast. This is not going to sit well with those who don't like rampant killing being made fun of, but for those with similar sensibilities to mine, Baby Assassins may provide a laugh or two, along with some expertly executed fight scenes. Technical merits are generally solid, though I'd recommend parsing through the screenshots to get an idea of how this looks. With caveats noted, Recommended.