Rating summary

Movie		3.5
Video		4.0
Audio		3.5
Extras		2.5
Overall		3.5

BMX Bandits Blu-ray Movie Review

Nicole Kidman's first film wheelies onto Blu-ray.

Reviewed by Casey Broadwater March 8, 2011

Lest you’ve forgotten, in the ‘80s, BMX was rad. If you were between the ages of, say, seven and seventeen, chances are you had a Dyno, Mongoose, Diamond Back, or Redline leaning up against the garage wall, and if you didn’t have access to trails you were for damn sure building ramps out of cinderblocks and sheets of plywood with your friends. (That, or practicing your flatland moves. Pop that endo!) If you were really into the action, you also had a bitchin’ set of elbow and kneepads, preferably in bright clashing colors. Naturally, there were a handful of films from the era that capitalized on the motocross craze. Have a look at Nicole Kidman’s lengthy filmography—yes, Nicole Kidman—and all the way, way, way up at the top you’ll find BMX Bandits, a cult kid-flick gem if there ever was one. In pastel pink short-shorts, and with her ginger hair going spastic in the frizziest perm imaginable, Kidman was only sixteen in this bike-based 1983 adventure, a film that was for Aussie kids what Goonies was for us Americans.

BMX Bandits!

Kidman plays Judy, a poofy-haired high school hottie who gets sacked from her summer job pushing shopping carts at the grocery store when her BMX’ing pals P.J. (Angelo D’Angelo) and Goose (James Lugton) accidentally cause a multi-cart pile-up in the parking lot, utterly trashing their bikes in the process. Now how are they going to make it to the pier to get milkshakes? “If we put out heads together we can come up with something,” says P.J., and as an example of the film’s brilliantly goofy dialogue, I present Goose’s response: “Yeah, multiple dandruff.” Hilarious. With access to Goose’s dad’s zippy inflatable motorboat, they hatch a plan to harvest seafood from lobster traps and sell it to local shops, but they reel in something far more valuable—a submerged case of tricked-out walkie-talkies! (Note: walkie-talkies were also totally awesome to kids in the 1980s.) These are no normal hand-held precursors to cellphones, however. The walkie-talkies belong to a gang of nefarious criminals, who plan to use them to listen in on police radio chatter. Yes, I know, there’s an app for that now—I’ve got it on my iPhone—but for the early ‘80s, the case of now-primitive mobile communication devices is a suitable MacGuffin. The three intrepid teens start selling the walkie-talkies around town —eventually raising enough cash to buy all-new bikes and BMX gear—but when The Boss (Bryan Marshall) finds out, he sends his two best cronies to track them down.

That’s about it for plot. What follows—after a corny montage that has P.J. and Goose gawking at Judy as she shows off her BMX’ing skills—is a nigh- unto-40-minute chase sequence. Hounded by Whitey (David Argue) and Moustache (John Ley), inept baddies of the Home Alone variety, the kids pedal furiously around town, hitting every conveniently placed jump along the way. They barrel down the escalator at the mall! They zip through abandoned warehouses! They hide out in a cemetery, where the bad guys, appropriately, don Halloween masks they just happened to have on their persons! In the most memorably ridiculous scene, they even—no joke—take their bikes down a waterslide with the flailing criminal flunkies in hot wet pursuit. There’s a simple reason BMX Bandits is a cult favorite—it revels in the kind of insane motocross action children of the ‘80s only wish they could’ve gotten away with. It’s like a 90-minute commercial for undiluted spandex-wearing awesomeness. Of course, intermingled with the high-flying, wheel-spinning trickery you’ll find a moony-eyed puppy love triangle between the three leads. “You know what they say,” quips Judy, “two’s company, three gets us talked about.” But don’t worry; one awkward, uncomfortable kiss in a pre-dug grave aside, the mushy stuff definitely takes a back seat. This film is all about tooling around on two wheels like a badass.

Forget, for a moment, that director Brian Trenchard-Smith went on to helm god-awful straight-to-video duds like Leprechaun 4: In Space and Megiddo: The Omega Code 2. In BMX Bandits he turns a ludicrous premise into a fun kid-power free-ride. Silly script and amateurish acting be damned, the film coasts along on its own sunny, friction-free gleefulness, content to simply deliver a good time. And it does, especially if you’re jonesing for a piece of retro cheese to ironically enjoy whilst getting hammered with your nostalgic-for-the-1980s friends. I propose a drinking game: Take a shot every time you hear the schhhheeeeeeew synthesizer sound effect that accompanies every single BMX stunt in the film. I guarantee you’ll be wasted by the end of the second act. For an added challenge to your liver, take another swig any time you can visibly notice that Nicole Kidman’s stunt double is, in fact, a dude. On the subject of Kidman, it’s interesting to look back on her first starring role nearly three decades on and notice how much—or little—she’s changed in the intervening years. The hardcore Aussie accent has been slightly toned down now, and her hair no longer looks like something you’d use to scrub dirty dishes, but the bewitching smile hasn’t changed. You can see seeds of her future star power here—she’s a natural presence who steals attention in every scene, even if Goose gets all the best lines.

BMX Bandits Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

BMX Bandits looks bad on Blu-ray, and by "bad" I mean surprisingly good. Really, though, I was caught off guard by how strong the film's 1080p/AVC-encoded transfer is; you don't always expect that from small-budget cult kiddie films from the early '80s. From the very first frames, BMX Bandits is vivid and bright, with more eye-popping primary hues than a Godard film. The bikes, the costumes—I would kill for one of those BMX Bandits t-shirts—everything is insanely colorful, and that's before you take into account the deep blue sky and crisp green grass. Black levels are a bit too murky, grayish, and crushing during the cemetery sequence—shadow detail is often totally obliterated—but during the daylight scenes contrast is spot on and it's a real understatement to say the image has "pop." Although clarity isn't always tack sharp, the newfound resolution works wonders for details like Kidman's frizzy perm, the creepy pig masks, and the texture of the bubbles during the massive foam fight. Finally, the print itself is in fine condition—I only spotted a few scattered white specks—and there are no obvious digital alterations like edge enhancement or excess DNR.

For a bit of trivia, BMX Bandits was actually acclaimed cinematographer John Seale's first gig as a feature film DP. His later credits include Rain Main, The English Patient, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and Cold Mountain.

BMX Bandits Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The film's DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0 stereo track is less immediately impressive, but it gets all the essentials right. To start, there's the almost absurdly cheesy soundtrack, which epitomizes 1980s fist-pumping montage music. My favorite touch is how every single time one of our three leads does a BMX stunt, a synthesizer underscores the trick with a laser beam-like schhheeeeeeeww sound. It never gets old. I didn't really notice any discernable separation between the two channels, but the mix is never muddled, and the score and effects all sound clean and bright. Perhaps too bright. The mix is shifted toward the mid-to-high end of the dynamic spectrum, with little bass to ground it. Otherwise, however, I have no complaints. Dialogue is always easy to understand, and there are no hisses, drop-outs, or crackles to report. Do note that there are no subtitle options on the disc whatsoever.

BMX Bandits Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Audio Commentary with Director Brian Trenchard-Smith: A good-natured but not entirely uncritical track from the director, who gives us the inside scoop on the making of the film and offers up some examples of how he could've done better.
• BMX Buddies: Featurette with Cast and Crew (1080i, 38:16): Better yet is this retrospective documentary featuring interviews with Trenchard-Smith, producer Tom Broadbridge, writers Patrick Edgeworth and Russell Hagg, and co-star James Lugton, all of whom reminisce about the picture and guide us through the film's journey, from the genesis of the script all the way through to Bandits' legacy as a cult classic. Sadly, Kidman is a no-show, but that's no surprise. If you've ever heard her field questions about the film from journalists, she always politely demures.
• Nicole Kidman on Young Talent Time (1080p, 2:33): Here we see a gangly Kidman promoting BMX Bandits on some Australian kids' show.
• Theatrical Trailer (1080i, 00:32)
• Severin Trailers: Includes trailers for Inglorious Bastards (1080i, 1:48), Eagles Over London (1080p, 4:39), and Birdemic: Shock and Terror (1080p, 2:31).

BMX Bandits Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

BMX Bandits may be a cornball and clichéd film about kids saving the day and—dude!—scraping together the money to build a BMX track, but it's also insuppressibly good-natured, full of sunshine, the brightest colors imaginable, and breezy nostalgic charm. If you grew up in the 1980s, the film will definitely take you back to a simpler time when kids actually played outside and rode their bikes around town instead of holing up in their rooms on the internet. Now I'm sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, and who am I to talk? I spend all day on the internet. Anyway, if you're curating an evening of ironically-enjoyed retro cheese, BMX Bandits certainly fits the bill. Recommended for a laugh.