Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		4.0
Audio		3.5
Extras		0.0
Overall		3.0

Assault on a Queen Blu-ray Movie Review

Assault on logic is more like it.

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman March 31, 2012

Very few writers for film or television have managed to become household names, but Rod Serling is one of the very few whose name is almost universally recognized, and more often than not remembered in largely laudatory terms. Serling will forever be linked to his iconic creation The Twilight Zone, still one of the most unique and consistently satisfying anthology series ever to grace the small screen. And while a number of Serling’s teleplays are still very highly regarded (Patterns, Requiem for a Heavyweight), his big screen contributions are a considerably more mixed bag. While Seven Days in May and especially Planet of the Apes are both classics in their respective genres, probably no one would ever hold up 1966’s Assault on a Queen as a stellar example of all that Serling was capable of. This meandering caper thriller is lethargic and often nonsensical, though it occasionally has flashes of the Serling quicksilver genius, especially with regard to tossed off bons mots delivered by some suitably cynical characters. What makes this all the more surprising is that Serling was actually adapting a 1959 novel by Jack Finney, himself an iconic writer whose legendary works include the source material that later became Invasion of the Body Snatchers, as well as the near perfect time traveling novel Time and Again which clearly had a major influence on such films as Somewhere in Time. What would seem to have been a perfect marriage on paper somehow didn’t quite connect, and Assault on a Queen is frequently too incredible for its own good, a tendency further exacerbated by a sort of mid-sixties phoning it in performance from star Frank Sinatra, whose production company was also one of the film’s producers.

The best caper films typically fall into one of two standard operating procedures: either the viewer is plunked squarely down right in the midst of the scheme, or, perhaps a bit more typically, a convoluted planning sequence serves as a prelude to the actual heist, which just as often as not goes horribly awry. And this is where Assault on a Queen makes perhaps its most deadly error. The film, which is barely over 100 minutes, spends all but the final 20 minutes or so in a prelude that doesn’t even involve much strategic planning. In fact the whole first third of the film is something of a red herring, as a team of treasure hunters led by Anthony Franciosa, Virna Lisi, and Alf Kjellen, recruit washed up seafarer Frank Sinatra to be their new diving ace when their original hire dies after diving in a faulty suit. We therefore get endless introductory elements that turn out to be merely the mechanics to get Sinatra under the water where instead of finding sunken treasure he instead stumbles upon an intact World War II German submarine.

It’s at this point that Assault on a Queen fairly leaps off the rails (if a submarine and/or luxury liner can leap off of rails) and descends into such abject ludicrousness that it’s hard to even fathom (no pun intended, considering the buried submarine). When the group of treasure hunters debriefs Sinatra’s character and he tells them the sub looks in amazingly good condition, seemingly intact, their first reaction is to become pirates (of course, how could it be otherwise?). That sets the film off on its lumbering middle section, where the sub is refloated, towed to a hidden dock and refurbished so that this nefarious crew can—take a deep breath—board the Queen Mary in the mid- Atlantic and make off with the untold riches that are no doubt being held in the ship’s massive safe. Aside from the sheer ridiculousness of this gambit, it’s not helped one whit by Serling’s screenplay, which resolutely refuses to divulge exactly how this is going to happen until we’re virtually upon the scheme itself, which is not as they say a plan put together by a criminal mastermind.

Serling instead fills this interminable lead up to the putative heist with what are supposed to be telling character moments for each of the principals, though somewhat surprisingly, considering his rather legendary skill with dialogue, most if not all of this material falls flat (Lisi’s pulchritudinous charms notwithstanding). Sinatra is the world weary cynic, Franciosa is the fast talking, slightly smarmy con-man, Lisi is the thickly accented romantic lure dangling between Sinatra and Franciosa, and Kjellen is the supposed mastermind who goes off the deep end (fitting, I guess) by film’s end. There are a couple of other supporting turns by the likes of Richard Conte, but really no one here ever makes much of an impact simply because so much of the writing is so haphazard and half baked.

Perhaps the oddest thing about this oddest of caper movies is, once the caper finally arrives, it’s gone almost as soon as it’s begun, whimpering away in a completely anticlimactic series of events that will make even the most patient viewer query, “What have I just spent the last hour and half waiting for?” This film proves that even sure hands like Serling can falter now and again, as unexpected as that may be. Assault on a Queen is one caper that would have benefited from some more serious planning somewhere along the way.

Assault on a Queen Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

Assault on a Queen is presented on Blu-ray courtesy of Olive Films with an AVC encoded 1080p transfer in 2.35:1. This is easily one of the sharpest looking Paramount catalog releases Olive has licensed in their recent glut of releases, perhaps due to the film's Panavision origins. Colors are nicely saturated and often quite bold, and the film's overall clarity and fine detail are often excellent, even exceptional at times. The elements still show occasional slight damage, including a few specks, flecks and other distractions that enter the frame. Some of the process photography literally shows its seams, with softness creeping into several optical shots, as might be expected. But overall this is a nicely crisp looking presentation that should certainly satisfy the film's fans.

Assault on a Queen Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Assault on a Queen lossless DTS-HD Master Audio Mono audio suffices surprisingly well for the bulk of the film, especially with regard to Duke Ellington's nicely swinging jazz score, one which eschews outright melodic sweep for chromatic changes that allow soloists to take flight. The bulk of the dialogue sounds crisp and clear, though there are obvious ambience changes when we go from location unit shots to studio bound footage, sometimes rather distressingly so, as in some obvious studio bound moments that are meant to be taking place outside in a boat or on a dock where the sound in noticeably more boxy and closed in. Fidelity is generally excellent and there is no damage to report on this track.

Assault on a Queen Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

As is usual with these Olive Films releases of Paramount catalog titles, there are no supplements of any kind included on the disc.

Assault on a Queen Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

Assault on a Queen would seem on its face to have a lot going for it, with a charismatic international cast and one of the most iconic writers of his generation providing the screenplay. But something went seriously awry with this project somewhere along the way. Sinatra frankly just seems to be coasting here, killing time until something better comes along, and the supporting cast, while nominally better, just doesn't have that much to work with in any case. For a caper film, Assault on a Queen is curiously caper-free, spending way too much time on a prelude that literally goes nowhere, and then not providing much excitement once the big heist actually lurches into view. The film evidently has a number of fans, and those people will no doubt be quite pleased with this Blu-ray's image quality and its decent sounding lossless audio. But for anyone expecting classic Rod Serling, they may decide, if they choose to watch this film, that they've entered a twilight zone of mediocrity.