American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		1.5
Video		3.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		3.0
Overall		3.0

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Martin Liebman October 31, 2020

The American Pie franchise has set a modern standard for sexualized humor and brainless entertainment. While the original film boasted some narrative creativity, many of its follow-ups -- notably the direct-to-video "Presents" spinoff films -- have chosen to forego most efforts for originality and dive headfirst into the superficial debauchery and toilet humor that defines the franchise at its core. American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile may be the shallowest film of them all, an artificial exercise in artlessness and nakedness, for that matter, centering its story on the quest for sex with plenty of bare breasts and kink along for the ride, or maybe better said, "run."

Unlike the other men in his family, Erik Stifler (John White) doesn’t have it all together, particularly when it comes to his sexuality and sexual conquests. He’s awkward, particularly around the girls, but he’s managed to land a nice girl-next-door type who “gets him” and his various failures and eccentricities. But Tracy (Jessy Schram) isn’t ready for sex yet. That makes Erik a virgin and something of an outcast in his family. It’s humiliating and after two years of dating he’s at the end of his rope. He needs sexual release and he needs to live up to his family name. One of Erik’s friends tells him about “The Naked Mile,” a race at a nearby college in which thousands of students run naked through campus. And he wants to attend. He earns his parents’ approval by posing as a potential future student and visiting his cousin Dwight. But there’s more good news: though Tracy remains reluctant to sleep with Erik even after a failed attempt in an effort to hang onto her man, her “friends” convince her to grant him a “guilt-free pass” to have sex all weekend long at the college. And no worries: she’ll be waiting for him when he gets back. Will Erik find a willing partner at the wildest college party of the year, or will he and Tracy both come to realize that they may be losing more than they are gaining with their one-sided arrangement?

The Naked Mile is an American Pie movie through and through. Within are plenty of bare breasts, sex acts and references to sex acts in practically every scene, and people running around naked. In this case they literally run around naked; rather than manufacture pretenses for nudity after the fact the filmmakers have smartly skipped the foreplay and just gone right for it, building the movie around the search for sex and a literal sprint towards it. But it’s entirely vacuous; the drama is virtually nil with the only question being whether Erik and Tracy will have sex at the end or if they will wait until she’s ready. Otherwise it’s just a parade of the same sorts of things anyone can find in any other cotemporary teen sex flick, and most of the others probably earn better laughs and find a slightly more robust narrative, which isn’t much of a reach comparing to this film, anyway.

The film derives pretty much all of its humor from misadventures with sex, usually in the form of some sort of interruption. The film begins morbidly with a death due to errant masturbation. Erik’s grandmother passes away not from catching him in the act of masturbating but rather when she, and Erik’s parents, are “caught in the line of fire,” so to speak. At one point in the film, while Erik is trying to have sex with Tracy, Tracy’s father interrupts looking for a late-night drink. Erik is forced to hide but winds up loudly pooping in the clothes dryer, giving away his position and making him a fugitive. It’s really only funny because it’s so absurd. The movie piles on the nonsense in those rare occurrences when it’s not laser-focused on sex, notably during a game of mud football featuring Beta versus a team of “little people” who become the de facto nemeses for the rest of the film. It’s all braindead but if there’s a silver lining it’s that the cast really seems to enjoy it. There appears to be very little acting in the film; most seem content to simply shout and party and laugh at the obscenities. Steve Talley as Dwight Stiffler seems particularly adept at this sort of performance. Jessy Schram as Tracy does most of the legwork; hers is the most complex character in the film and outside of Erik the only one with even a modicum of depth.

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The perfunctory picture has a very video-y look about it. It's often noisy in lower light but there are no other serious source or encode issues to note. It's just completely uninteresting and very pedestrian. Texturally, the image is very flat. Details veer towards the softer side of the ledger, with faces and clothes lacking more than fleeting opportunities for complexity and study. The same may be said of environments -- whether out around campus, inside frat houses, or even on the muddy football field where the playing surface, and the caked on grime as the players become all but muddier than the mud itself -- which just never get out of first gear. Color are drab, too, with little pop or life. Even would-be bright and bold primaries struggle to offer anything more than passable punch. Black levels are never particularly tight and skin tones look more pasty than natural.

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The Naked Mile's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 lossless soundtrack delivers a well-rounded listen. Music highlights with wide front side engagement, a healthy surround element, and a good low end accompaniment. There's nothing out of the ordinary at play here, but fans will appreciate the effort to push the system rather hard and deliver boisterous yet still nicely detailed notes. Atmospherics around campus and more rowdy sounds inside parties offer hearty depth and diversity, always working hard to draw the listener into the mayhem. Dialogue is always clear enough and center positioned. It is well prioritized even through din, though characters are usually shouting by that point, anyway.

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile contains several supplements, all of which must be accessed in-film from the "pop up" menu which also offers the option to toggle subtitles on and off. There is no "top menu." Pressing that remote button simply restarts the movie. No DVD or digital copies are included with purchase. This release does not ship with a slipcover.

• The Yoga Guide to Getting Girls (1080i, 3:50): Tracy offers a few tips on how to pick up women in the yoga studio.
• The Bare Essentials (1080i, 4:23): The cast painfully prepares to appear nude in the film.
• Deleted and Extended Scenes (1080p upscaled, window box, 6:08 total runtime): Several scenes lumped together with no titles.
• Outtakes (1080p upscaled, 2:44): Humorous alternate takes and gags.
• Little People, Big Stunts (1080i upscaled, window box, 6:57): This piece primarily looks at the making of the football scene and interviews several of the cast members talking up their roles in the film.
• Life on the Naked Mile (1080i upscaled, window box, 16:50): A basic making-of that explores core story details, cast and characters, making key scenes, and more.
• Audio Commentary: Director Joe Nussbaum, Writer Erik Linsay & Cast Members Steve Talley, Jake Siegel, John White & Ross Thomas offer some lighthearted banter with mostly superficial insight (and some technical details...some talk of shooting techniques during the big party scene at the end). There's some talking over one another but it remains fairly accessible and fun. Fans will enjoy this one.

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

This one's quick to recap: the movie is awful if not at least effective as a crude sophomoric escape. The 1080p video presentation is nothing special but at least the 5.1 lossless soundtrack delivers a hearty listen. A few extras, including a commentary track, are included. Skip it.