Alien vs. Ninja Blu-ray Movie

Rating summary

Movie		2.5
Video		3.0
Audio		4.0
Extras		1.5
Overall		3.0

Alien vs. Ninja Blu-ray Movie Review

Evidently Predator was busy that day.

Reviewed by Jeffrey Kauffman March 28, 2011

Does the Japanese film industry have anything like Hollywood’s “pitch” meeting? If so, the pitch for Alien vs. Ninja probably was one of the shortest on record, consisting entirely of the proposed title for the feature, which sums everything up in one neat and tidy little package. It would be charitable to term Alien vs. Ninja high concept, despite its ability to be summed up via its hybrid title, if only because the film is so resolutely low on just about every scale imaginable. It features nonstop low comedy, it’s special effects are decidedly lo-fi, and the whole enterprise has the feeling of a bunch of college (or even high school) friends getting together to put together a home video in their backyards which they then delight their friends and families by showing at neighborhood get togethers. This is a film that relies almost entirely on an audience’s tolerance for, even love for, purposely awful films. Alien vs. Ninja is so spectacularly awful in virtually every category that it would probably defy even an attempt by Mystery Science Theater 3000 to offer a satiric commentary. Now, don’t get me wrong: Alien vs. Ninja is exactly what it sets out to be, nothing more and nothing less, so if you’re a fan of this kind of intentionally trashy film, this may well be your Citizen Kane, for what it’s worth. There are certainly any number of more pretentious films which have come down the pike which don’t deliver half the laughs, intentional or otherwise, that Alien vs. Ninja does, and that has to count for something, doesn’t it?

You can cower in fear after you stop giggling.

It’s fairly useless to even try to provide a plot summary for Alien vs. Ninja because, truth be told, the entire plot is handily summed up in the film’s title. Does it matter we have a trio of heroes, along with a buffoonish hanger on and another kid who delivers the film’s final supposed “twist”? No. Do we care that there may be nascent romantic feelings between the glamorous female ninja and the main male ninja? Absolutely not. Does anything in this film really matter, when everything from historical accuracy (in terms of the ninjas, that is) to plot logic to character development is simply tossed out the window if indeed it had ever been in the window to begin with. Alien vs. Ninja is simply silly, silly stuff and as far as that goes, it’s silly with the best (or worst) of them.

It’s hard to know where to even begin with describing this film’s blend of live action and extremely rudimentary CGI. Suffice it to say this is not exactly state of the art material in any way, shape or form. The alien, such as it is, is, in the live action shots, a man in a spandex lizard outfit. There are a couple of hilarious CGI moments with the same alien, notably the first “real” look at the creature, when it’s hopping from tree to tree in an ancient Japanese forest like some dinosaur version of Tarzan. (Strangely—or perhaps not so strangely considering this film’s utter lack of logic—the same alien was just a moment earlier subsisting beneath the earth, where it pulled a series of hapless ninjas to their gruesomely bloody deaths). Another absolutely fantastic CGI moment (if you’re in the properly cynical mood, anyway) is toward the end of the movie, when the alien more or less blasts off into outer space on a set of wings it more or less magically unfolds, all the while being held onto by our chief ninja warrior. That moment is certainly worthy of an Ed Wood Award nomination, an award which I don’t think exists, but which I will conveniently christen with the soubriquet The Woodie.

The best thing (again, a relative term) about Alien vs. Ninja is that it is most decidedly aware of what a stupid outing it is. That isn’t a slam by any means—it’s rare that film understands its own limitations, what its audience wants to see, and how to provide exactly what that audience wants. As strange as it may sound, there is an audience for this Grade-Z fare, and as long as any given film doesn’t take itself too seriously (or in fact seriously at all), and delivers the goods in whatever lo-fi manner it can, chances are it’s going to find appreciative viewers. This is probably a film that would therefore benefit from being seen in a party setting or in an actual theatrical exhibition (did this film ever even have a theatrical exhibition?), where the symbiotic relationship between the on screen shenanigans and audience hilarity is self-feeding and helps to make the experience, if not the actual film itself, entertaining and enjoyable.

There are some completely lunatic moments scattered throughout Alien vs. Ninja that prove the filmmakers had a handle on what an over the top, albeit decidedly low budget, film they were making. Without posting too many spoilers, one of the funnier little bits is late in the game when one of our erstwhile heroes finds himself suddenly defenseless at the hands of the latex-laden alien. Things do not end well for our hero, and once his decapitated head is ensconced on an ancient pillar, insult is added to injury when a crow flies in and begins pecking out the corpse's eye. Now that's entertainment!

It may be a backhanded compliment of sorts, but director Seiji Chiba, in the Making of featurette included on this Blu-ray, talks about his love of American film, and how he wanted to meld a manga sensibility onto a sort of James Cameron-esque Alien structure. Chiba is especially concerned that his film appeal to Westerners. Whether the result speaks more to the Eastern consciousness assuming we're all dolts over here or not is arguable, but this is simply mindless entertainment. It's the sort of movie where expectations are decidedly low going in, and where the film does absolutely nothing to dissuade that first preconception.

Alien vs. Ninja Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

From the textureless and flat look of things, it would appear Alien vs. Ninja was "filmed" utilizing high definition video. Delivered here on Blu-ray via an AVC encoded 1080i transfer in 1.78:1, the good part about this transfer is that it's appropriately clean, clear and sharp, as befits its digital source. But did director Seiji Chiba really want something this oddly desaturated and almost monochromatic looking? This is one of the most oddly pallid Blu-rays in recent memory, full of ugly grays and tepid whites, where even the blood doesn't amount to much, from a color perspective. Flesh tones are a sickly looking gray, the forest is more gray than green, and everything is just—well, gray, gray, gray. There's virtually no depth of field, and a filmic sense of fine detail is also missing, with nothing but a smooth, textureless appearance remaining.

Alien vs. Ninja Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

Alien vs. Ninja sports two nice lossless Dolby TrueHD 5.1 tracks, in the original Japanese and an English dub. The English dub is not as bad as most of these efforts are, but I still recommend sticking with the original Japanese, at least if you don't mind reading subtitles. This is a nicely detailed track, with lots of immersive elements as the ninja battles take place in the forest. Whooshing swords and ninja flying discs penetrate the surrounds with appealing frequency, and there is an abundance of LFE in a number of fun sound effects. Alien vs. Ninja doesn't appear to have been post-dubbed, and so dialogue is well synched with lip movements, and all dialogue is presented cleanly and crisply. For an obviously low, low budget film, the soundtrack here is realized with a well above average panache, and most audiophiles should be very pleased with the result.

Alien vs. Ninja Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Making Of Alien vs. Ninja (SD; 19:32), in Japanese with forced English subtitles, is a multi-part featurette which goes into perhaps hilariously exhaustive detail about the pre-production and production of this film. There are multiple interviews intercut with scenes from the film as well as behind the scenes footage.
• Trailer

Alien vs. Ninja Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

What can you ultimately "criticize" about a film this hands down ridiculous, especially when it knows how ridiculous it is? Some of the sight gags are amusing, some of the special effects are even more amusing, and the film is smart enough never to take itself even remotely seriously. The alien is absolutely absurd looking, the fight scenes seem staged so that nothing much (and certainly not the alien) is ever actually caught inside the frame, and the whole enterprise just sort of trips along like the fever dream of some Eastern version of Ed Wood. If that's your thing, Alien vs. Ninja will be just your cup of chamomile tea. Others would probably do best to experience this film as a sort of audience participation effort, perhaps with some sort of drinking game involved.