Rating summary

Movie		2.0
Video		2.5
Audio		3.5
Extras		2.0
Overall		2.5

A Pyromaniac's Love Story Blu-ray Movie Review

Reviewed by Brian Orndorf May 7, 2018

There’s the surface appeal of “A Pyromaniac’s Love Story,” and there’s the more interesting tale of William Baldwin, with the 1995 picture coming at a crucial time in his then-burgeoning career. He was positioned as a Hollywood heartthrob, successfully navigating a few roles, such as 1990’s “Flatliners,” and won a massive break as the lead in 1991’s “Backdraft,” where he did a fine job portraying a conflicted firefighter suddenly thrust into a role of familial and professional responsibility. He seemed poised to take off, but along came 1993’s “Sliver,” a botched (but not entirely uninteresting) erotic thriller that asked too much of him, caught on a sinking ship as the movie bombed, which didn’t simply throttle his career, but cooled his heat in full. 1995’s “A Pyromaniac’s Love Story” delivers a different side of Baldwin, who tries to be a comedian in the romantic film, channeling Jim Carrey with a wild-eyed performance that’s ambitious and completely out of his range. Baldwin’s acting dream dimmed in 1995 (coupled with the disastrous “Fair Game”), and there’s a good reason for that, finding his take on an unhinged fire-starter with a pronounced limp wholly unpleasant, making his turn the most unlikable addition to an already joyless and aggressively quirky creation.

In New York City, young Sergio (John Leguizamo) is desperately in love with Hattie (Sadie Frost), a local restaurant server who dreams of a better life away from her father (Michael Lerner), ready to see the world. Sergio doesn’t have the money to whisk her away, working at a bakery owned by Mr. (Armin Mueller-Stahl) and Mrs. Linzer (Joan Plowright). The business is dying, forcing Mr. Linzer to close, but he hopes Sergio will take pity on him and secretly burn down the building, allowing the baker to collect the insurance money. Sergio resists the offer, but it’s soon too late to reconsider, with pyromaniac Garet (William Baldwin) stepping into a reduce the business to ashes, inspiring his father, Tom (Richard Crenna), to seek out Sergio and pay him a small fortune to take the fall for the crime. Initially agreeing to the request to collect quick cash, Sergio soon realizes what he’s doing, but before he can sort through the situation, Mr. Linzer decides to claim responsibility for the fire. Now stuck in a strange situation, Sergio meets with Garet, who believes the honest man is actually trying to woo his girlfriend, Stephanie (Erika Eleniak), setting out to seduce Hattie as revenge.

“A Pyromaniac’s Love Story” is introduced as a fairy tale of some sort, with opening text of “Once upon a time” asking the audience to relax certain expectations when dealing with a seemingly edgy story of a damaged men and the unwieldly women they’re pursuing. Despite the ill-conceived opening statement, the screenplay by Morgan Ward (“Riding in Cars with Boys”) is more effective as a slightly weird, low-fi charmer, following Sergio around his neighborhood as he tries to work up the nerve to get Hattie’s attention, believing sudden riches and whirlwind travel is the answer to all his problems. Comedic exaggeration is present, but it’s not offensive, as the movie has fun with Sergio’s excitement levels, watching him pass out whenever excitement overwhelms him, allowing Leguizamo to enjoy a more physical presence, which suits his thespian gifts.

The first act of “A Pyromaniac’s Love Story” actually works to a certain degree, keeping matters in the realm of the real as Sergio pines for Hattie but can’t get his act together, fearing he’ll lose the love of his life. There’s something there between excitable Sergio and tomboy Hattie, who will openly threaten and periodically strike anyone who offends her, and perhaps there’s an entire movie in just this relationship, following the young man as he tries to put his life in order, only to find his only source of income, the bakery, going up in flames. For 38 minutes, “A Pyromaniac’s Love Story” gets by on speed and oddity, watching Sergio confronted with the offer of a lifetime by Tom, who doesn’t want to see his son jailed once again, hoping to entice the bakery employee to temporarily ruin his life for money. While lacking twists and turns, the picture’s early going does well defining characters and dreams, but such digestible screenwriting is soon disrupted by the introduction of Garet.

Garet is a disturbed individual, but “A Pyromaniac’s Love Story” doesn’t treat him as a threat. He’s been defanged by Ward and Brand, presented as a flighty individual who’s simply trying to deal with a broken heart, not contain an insatiable need to ruin lives through the starting of fires. The production tries to romanticize Garet’s behavior, while Baldwin tries to sell it all as a comic gold, overplaying every scene he’s given, while the writing makes awkward choices along the way, including the pairing of Garet and Hattie, who responds to the madman, which doesn’t make sense in the character’s overall arc of self-preservation. Baldwin is terrible in “A Pyromaniac’s Love Story,” and when he shows up to play, the film bizarrely dies, suddenly losing interest in everything besides Garet and his nutty behavior, which dilutes Sergio’s position as a lead character, putting the more interesting character (and better performance) in a submissive position for the rest of the run time.

A Pyromaniac's Love Story Blu-ray Movie, Video Quality 

The AVC encoded image (1.85:1 aspect ratio) presentation doesn't offer fans of the film a recent refreshing to bring the viewing experience up to current HD standards. What's here is a tired-looking Disney catalog title with a DVD-era master, with detail softened overall, battling mild filtering and age. Skin particulars struggle for definition, and neighborhood adventures lack depth and distinction, coming off flat. Colors are weak, with reddish skintones and dreary primaries, with little beyond the brightest of period garb making any sort of impression. Delineation solidifies on occasion. Source displays plenty of speckling, mild banding, and a few jumpy frames.

A Pyromaniac's Love Story Blu-ray Movie, Audio Quality 

The 2.0 DTS-HD MA sound mix doesn't emerge with any sort of authority, but it does support the small charms of "A Pyromaniac's Love Story." Dialogue exchanges aren't fresh but they remain intelligible, handling accents and performance choices, delivering an adequate sense of manic behavior and whispered desires. Scoring carries modest instrumentation, presenting the fairy tale mood satisfactorily, not authoritatively. Street and public gathering atmospherics survive.

A Pyromaniac's Love Story Blu-ray Movie, Special Features and Extras 

• Commentary features director Joshua Brand and filmmaker Heather Buckley.

• And a Theatrical Trailer (1:44, SD) is included.

A Pyromaniac's Love Story Blu-ray Movie, Overall Score and Recommendation 

"A Pyromaniac's Love Story" tries to support an idea that all the fire business is actually beneficial for the gang, rejuvenating dormant relationships. It's not the most dramatically secure idea to hang a movie on, but composer Rachel Portman provides a light, appealing score to keep spirits up, working to define Brand's lackluster direction and Ward's lame ideas. The mission here is to find a way to blend criminal antics with heartache, which eventually blossoms into passion. "A Pyromaniac's Love Story" isn't friendly enough to charm as a romance, and its search for unsavory attitudes to treat lightly doesn't result in a particularly appealing endeavor. The jokes just aren't there, along with any sort of soulfulness. While the opening act appears to be headed in the right direction, the feature ultimately erases anything of interest in its shallow pursuit of indie film-style eccentricity and Disney-style fantasy.